What Is the Difference Between Reflection and Rumination?
The Inward Turn
When you enter the world of mental health and self-development, you may quickly encounter the idea of self-reflection. We are encouraged to look inward, to examine our thoughts, emotions, behaviours, and motivations, with the ultimate hope of understanding ourselves more deeply.
And sometimes, this inward turning is deeply helpful. Reflection can help us to notice the way we move in the world, including the patterns we may unconsciously (or consciously) repeat time and again. It can bring us closer to ourselves and is valuable in and of itself, helping us to live more authentically and consciously.
When Reflection Becomes Rumination
But there is another form of inward reflection that can feel very different, so much so that I even hesitate to call it reflection at all.
I imagine many of the readers are familiar with what it’s like to feel trapped inside of a thought or a memory, replaying and repeating experiences or ideas like constantly scraping your finger against a wound so that it never fully heals.
The mind circles the thing (whatever it is) over and over and over again, with the hope, usually unconscious, that some sense of relief will finally occur if we just think hard enough.
You may have heard this called overthinking, but it may also be rumination.
A Mind in Search of Relief
We spoke last time of how human beings have an innate need for control, to find solutions. The mind searches tirelessly, relentlessly even, for answers to, at times, unanswerable questions. In some way, that may feel easier than feeling the raw pain of vulnerability, grief, shame, or discomfort.
Yet, rumination is often draining and exhausting, like running on a hamster wheel and getting nowhere…driven by a goal, whether that’s certainty, relief, or reassurance, but not actually getting anywhere.
Reflection Opens, Rumination Narrows
Reflection may feel different. Slower. Less urgent, or stressed. It’s open-ended and curious. Rumination is quicker, more intense, overwhelming.
What Lies Beneath?
There may come a time when self-reflection veers into the territory of rumination, and when that time comes, it may be wise to become conscious of what’s really happening.
Perhaps rumination is an attempt to solve a problem that cannot truly be solved. Perhaps, it is the (understandable) attempt to avoid feeling one’s own vulnerability. If this is the case, it then begs the question:
What are you avoiding feeling, by thinking?
Because you cannot weed the garden by picking off the leaves; you must remove the root. What may be the root of your own rumination?
What pain, fear, grief, uncertainty, or vulnerability might the mind be trying so desperately not to feel?
Reflection Questions
What does rumination feel like in my body?
What kinds of thoughts tend to loop?
Are there emotions I find difficult to tolerate?
How do I know when reflection is genuinely helping me grow?
