What is Play? Part 1
Like I wrote about in my previous post, play is something that all children (and all people for that matter!) do naturally. Yet, many people, including parents, don’t fully understand why play is so important.
In this series of blog posts, we’ll explore what play is, why it matters for children, and how you, as a parent, can support your child’s play.
In Part 1, we’ll start at the very beginning: what play is and is not. This will hopefully give you the foundation for understanding the importance of play for your child.
You might think that play is easy to define, but, on the contrary, from an academic standpoint, it’s actually quite difficult. Theorists, philosophers, and schools of thought all have different things to say about what is and isn’t play.
For the purpose of this series, we’ll look at the work of Dr. Gordon Neufeld, attachment theory researcher and psychologist, who describes properties of play that differentiate it from other activities, like consuming media/entertainment or working. Keep reading to learn more about Dr. Neufeld’s perspective on what is true play.
One of the biggest properties of play is that it is not outcome focused! While there may be outcomes like joy or emotional expression, we don’t play to achieve a goal or accomplish something. Play is done for its own sake. For that reason, it’s inherently engaging. You might become so immersed in your play that time passes without you even realizing it. This can be easily contrasted with being in the work mode, which may feel more stressful and disengaging.
In addition, the great thing about play is that it doesn’t ‘count’, meaning we can take a break from reality and real-life consequences. For children, play might look like falling into a world of pretend, make-believe, or fantasy. In play, children and adults alike can become anything or anyone, at any point in time. There is a freedom and creativity in play that is inherently nourishing.
What makes a play state or play activity differ from simply being entertained or stimulated is that play involves expressing something from within ourselves. When we consume media, like watching TV or scrolling through Instagram, we are taking something in versus expressing something out. Play involves expression.
What’s more, play must be emotionally safe–the moment a child or an adult feels teased, humiliated, or has their feelings hurt, the activity is no longer play or safe. Also, play is spontaneous; it comes from something deep within our being. And we’ve probably all felt it. We know what free play feels like versus play that is coerced. Maybe you remember being a student in gym class forced to play a game you truly did not want to play, and it wasn’t fun. In that case, it wasn’t true play because you didn’t freely choose to participate.
Taken together, play is much more than a way for people to pass time. In fact, it is anything but trivial. Play is an opportunity to express yourself and explore your world (real or imagined). It is spontaneous, engaging, safe, and free from the pressures of expectations or outcomes.
By understanding these qualities of play, parents can begin to notice the power and potential of play in their child’s life, and start thinking about how to nurture play within the family unit.
In the next parts of this series, we’ll explore why play matters so much for children’s development and practical ways you can support your child’s play at home… and to support your own, too!
If you’re interested in learning about play, I highly recommend checking out Dr. Neufeld’s courses at the Neufeld Institute. Scroll down the list and locate Play Series to see his offerings on play.
Please note: I am not affiliated with Dr. Gordon Neufeld or the Neufeld Institute. I am sharing my appreciation of his work for educational purposes only, based on my own learning and interpretation.
