What is Play? Part 2: The Benefits of Play

We’ve talked about what play is, now let’s talk about the benefits of play, of which there are many! I won’t name them all (that could take a while) but what follows are some of the most notable.

As before, I’m drawing today from the work of Dr. Gordon Neufeld of the Neufeld Institute. Dr. Neufeld is a renowned attachment theorist and psychologist based in Vancouver, British Columbia. 

Interestingly, from an evolutionary perspective, the instinct and drive to play arrived at the same time as emotion. This suggests that play has a major role to – ahem – play in the processing of emotions (pun not intended). Child therapists absolutely see this in their work with children–they know that play is foundational to helping children process their emotions and make sense of their experiences. We see it all of the time.

Play also provides psychological rest from the work mode. Humans are not meant to be in a constant state of work and productivity, yet many of us still are. And for some, rest and play seem like unattainable luxuries. 

Neufeld suggests that play equates to rest without sleeping, helping to restore functioning and improve well-being. Practically speaking, this means that if you’re feeling overworked, overburdened, and feel like you actually need to strive more, pause and consider the paradox that better work outcomes require more rest, not more work. From a place of deep rest, your work will be more productive and effective.

Play can also help curb boredom (obvious, I know). One cannot be both bored and engaged. And since we know play is inherently engaging, true play and boredom cannot co-exist at the same moment. Often, we attempt to avoid boredom through consuming media like television, movies, and social media; however, these activities don’t tend to fully address the underlying need of boredom, which may very well be the need to play.

Perhaps most importantly, play helps to prime attachment. Attachment refers to the deep emotional bond between people, particularly children and their caregivers. All humans have a primary motivational drive to attach to a trusted other. This leads to children and adults alike to seek closeness, contact, connection, and comfort with others. Attachment goes far beyond affection and love; it’s a fundamental survival mechanism wired into the brain and nervous system. In essence, attachment = safety. 

Play supports attachment by providing opportunities to practice relational behaviours. Children act out relationships with dolls and figures, read stories about connection and loss, pretend to be parents or partners, and work through experiences of separation and reunion in their play narratives. 

Moreover, attachment and play are intimately intertwined. Attachment provides the emotional safety that makes play possible, and play, in turn, strengthens attachment. In Part 1, I described how true play requires emotional safety. One of the primary ways children experience this safety is through their attachment relationships.

A child who lacks emotional safety or secure attachment is far less likely to engage in true, spontaneous play. Interestingly, one of the most effective ways for parents and caregivers to strengthen their relationships is simply to play with their children, and cultivate an environment of play. This might mean the adult needs to reconnect with their inner drive to play, in order to help their child find the safety needed to play.

Finally, because play helps us express and process emotion, it also provides an outlet for feelings that might otherwise strain our relationships. For instance, aggression can be discharged on the soccer field. Tension in the relationship can be lightened through humour, playful teasing, and laughter. In this way, play can be both restorative and protective of relationships.

In short, play is not frivolous or trivial. It is not a reward for finishing “real work”. Play is a biological and emotional necessity. It restores us, connects us, and regulates us.

In the next post, we’ll explore how these benefits become especially vital in childhood, and why play is one of the most important forces in shaping healthy development.

Now, stop reading and go play!